- Fourth Blood Butterfly -

CAUTION: EMO.

If you're thinking "So. What is dear little twisted child doing?"

I can generally tell you, I'm stressed from top to toe.Its not only because I was awaken by the news of my grandmother died suddenly, or anything, its because my mom just don't want me on the com, and I have to take out various activities, thus stressing me out. And inorder not to worry anyone, or attempt to. What do i do? Smile. And pretend everything is okay.

But I can also honestly say. 'My grandmother died' is just a blood fucking excuse for me to say 'I want to be free, i want to slack, idle, just leave me alone.' I am so tired, mentally exhaused and everytime i want to scream and yell, and throw a temper. But obviously, i'll get scolding for even THINKING about it. I'm so tired. I'm so so tired I just want to cover my ears, kick out all the sounds and hug myself so i won't feel alone.

And secondly, my big screw up.Infocomm Annerversairy next week.China trip next week.Clash?Fuck yes.

I can't cancel that, i can't not go for this. Everything is ruined. My painting for my manga on canvas sucks, I'm so bloody sleepy, i can't spend time with my friends, on my cosplay armor, I've got PVC meeting undone, I haven't done this, I haven't done that, NOT A SINGLE FUCKING SOUL IS GOING TO HELP ME. I CAN'T FIND ANY PROPER HELP, FUCK. I CAN'T EVEN FIND THE TRUST I NEED. While every thing here before me is ruined, I just want to think of things which keeps me happy.

I don't know, my mom is stressed too.So I have to be burderned by HER stress as well.

So, suffering?Nah.

I'm just perfectly happy. ^_^

.: Pitiful Shadows cloaked in darkness, Thy actions cause men pain and suffering. Thy hollow soul drowns in thy sins. How would you like to see what death is like? :.